So often we will find ourselves shackled by the comments of our past, often without our even knowing. We strive to move forward yet something holds us back, delaying our progress, stunting our growth. These invisible binds come from our yesteryear and unless we take some time to stop and inspect the nature of these binds, they can frustrate our path and add further rubble blocking our future.
Years of negative comments and undervalue from those around us in our formative years and at vulnerable points in our lives can cause secret destruction that even we are not aware of. On the outside we paint a strong brave picture to face the world, but only we know the battle that rages inside us and the walls of insecurity that crumble constantly before we’ve even had a chance to repair and rebuild from the last self-destructive implosions.
I’ve realised quite late in life that I harbour a great deal of doubt about my most basic intrinsic self-worth as a human being. When you fear that you might be the worst kind of human being possible, it can be hard to climb out of the ruins sometimes because maybe you fear you deserve to be there on some level. Like you deserve to suffer and be miserable because only such a fate can compensate for your serious deficiencies as a human being of any worth.
Where did these fears and beliefs come from? From years and years of strained family dynamics and extra-special climaxes in life where I failed to tow the line others had chosen for me.
There can be a price for living your own truth. Others will not like it, more often than not. Everyone has their own agenda in life and if you’ve traditionally been a people-pleaser when you fail to make their life work, or you rock the boat or try to get out of it altogether because you realise your own path points to a different horizon, then the consequences can be harsh and brutal.
Blinded by their hurt and disappointment and fear and anger and perceived feelings of rejection, those that were once your staunchest supporters and protectors, will turn on you with arrows to pierce your heart and your confidence in desperate bids to bring you back into their fold.
This is why the skill of assessing and evaluating the words of others is so very very essential to nurture and master. If one does not learn habitually how to rationally stand back from the opinions of others and investigate their inherent truth using reasoned logic and global perspective shifts, there is a serious danger of accepting and internalising damaging falsities.
In fact blindly accepting the opinions or observations of others is necessarily to accept a lie. Criticism and even admiration is necessarily one dimensional – it looks at the circumstance from a limited perspective and fails to see where the absolute opposite might be true instead.
The path to freedom lies then in freeing oneself from the good or bad opinion of others. People will always have their convictions and beliefs about the kind of person you are and what you’re capable of – yet these opinions and assertions say far more about the insights and perspectives of the very people that are making the judgements than their targets.
Every quality contains it’s opposite in a paradoxical way that reflects the true nature of our universe. We are not just what others might project upon us, we are also the very opposite, and a spectrum of shades inbetween that and beyond too. We are far far more than they or even we could ever realise… And only the continued experience of life can show us what a wonderful process and progress we are and can be.
So question the judgements others make of you always. Regardless of who they are or how sincere or certain they seem to be. In fact, especially when they seem to be so certain.
In what ways could their assertion be true? And critically, in what way could the opposite actually be true?
Do they speak from an emotional place or unbalanced perspective? Or have they engaged the rational side of their brain and talk from a place of calmness and objectivity and reasoned logic?
Whats a third perspective to the situation. In fact what would a 360* perspective review reveal about the true nature of the situation? What would a divine love from up above see about the same dynamic?
Assess and evaluate. Always assess and evaluate.
And ultimately let no ones truth enter you or detract from your own reasoned and researched conclusion. Look with the eyes and knowing of your own heart and ultimately trust your gut.
This is the way to add light and honour the wisdom within you. This is the way to earn your freedom to live.